A weekend reflection (a personal share that may help others)
I have not yet tested for Covid-19 (physically) since the pandemic started earlier this year. But Covid-19 has tested me numerous times since then (Emotionally, Socially, Financially & Spiritually in that order). However, the reality of this hit me hard in the last 4 months. Free teaching interventions and very few paid assignments were not fetching me the necessary revenues to run my household without bother. Reserves were fast draining out. Being self-employed does have its challenges. It was slowly corroding my psyche too, making me doubt my abilities and my self-belief. For the first time, I was questioning my very purpose, a rare feeling, since I changed my career trajectory 13 years ago. I always considered myself strong, confident, and as ‘THE SUPPORT’ my family could cling to in times of need. I soon realized that I was vulnerable too. It was my turn to seek support. While many could not relate to my situation, those who knew, could not, or did not bother, as they were having their own share of the pandemic backlash. Understandable.
“Sometimes asking for help is the bravest move you can make. You don’t have to go it alone.”
I did not have the courage to reach out to all. After all, I was functioning as a life coach and a personal development facilitator. I was supposed to be lifting others up. Who in the world would think I was struggling too! Finally gathering some courage and being authentic, I changed my LinkedIn profile status to “open for work” and sent a few C. V’s around. Nothing changed. One known contact who promised to bail me out hearing my status and asking me to send my profile across immediately opened my sent e-mail after 1.5 months! In short, no one cared. I was fighting a fierce battle in my mind and that too alone, losing ground with each passing day. Who do you think was the one who offered support? It was non-other than my wife who was silently watching my energy levels falling and losing faith in myself and my ability.
This picture above taken by my older daughter Lisa walking behind us during a routine Sunday post-lunch walk captures my situation perfectly.
What is my message here?
Every transition brings with it some level of turmoil. In times like these, a person who sees and gives hope is the highest influencer in your life. Like any True Leader. My wife simply reminded me of the catchphrase ‘WIN IS WITHIN YOU’ that I coined a few years back. She assured me that the situation we live in; doesn’t have to live ‘in us’. She reminded me that I am not alone in this fight, she is there beside me and so are my two daughters. They are proud of me and the work I do for others. They know and observe it and are doing every bit to shower me with more affection and love. I was moved to tears. I felt light immediately, and my purpose was re-established. The support that I was looking outside was so very near to me. My wife is a true leader in every sense. A silent one, who simply holds my hand and without much talk, walks beside me on this journey. Like all things, this crisis too shall pass and soon I will be back to winning ways.
“In the end there doesn’t have to be anyone who understands you. There just has to be someone who wants to.”- Robert Brault
Are you investing in meaningful relationships? As humans, the relationships we form with other people are vital to our mental and emotional wellbeing, and really, our survival. Invest in your relationships. It doesn’t always have to be your life partner. Cling on to the hand that offers you help and support and be grateful for the people who love you unconditionally in the NOW.
We are all affected. We can all do our bit to make things better in these difficult times by being responsible and showing responsibility towards others.If you do not have anyone around, reach out to me and we both could navigate this period together. Remember the win over anything is always within us. Stay safe and be well.
Dr. Owen Fernandes MBA, Ph.D.
